I Shall Bear My Cross

As I walked into Mass this evening, I realized that my prayers needed some major revision.  Over the years, they've always sounded like this:  "Lord, please give me a better job, please give me better pay, please help me to make more money, please allow me to take a vacation, please let this relationship work, etc..."  Sadly, I think many of us know this prayer all too well.

Sitting quietly in the back pew, I decided to ask the Lord for something different:  "Lord, I pray for the strength to come to You with open hands and an open heart.  I'm always coming to You with clenched fists and demands of worldly requests, as if you owe me something.  Tonight, please open my heart, please un-clench fists.  Help me to accept Your will and give me the strength & courage to bear whatever cross You give me."

And with this prayer I heard the gentle voice of God.  Ironically, our Gospel was Luke 23:35.  For those of you who aren't familar with this Gospel, Jesus is being mocked by the soldiers & crowd as he is dying on the cross.  They are shouting & screaming, "Save Yourself if You are truly the Son of God!  Save Yourself like You saved the others!"  How humiliating this must have been for Him.  As Jesus hung on that cross, naked, battered, bruised & exposed, I can only imagine his pain...a pain that most of us will never know.  And above his head, a sign was posted that mockingly read "King of the Jews".

What finally dawned on me last night was that Jesus accepted the cross as His throne.  He had a choice just like so many of us have choices.  He could have done anything he wanted...He is Jesus, our King!  He could have had the most beautiful throne known to man.  He could have struck down every soldier & every person in the crowd who mocked Him.  He could have gone out with a BANG...fireworks and all!  But we all know His story.  Not one person did He harm.  He accepted the cross with humility, pain and suffering.

In my life, how many times have I been faced with a choice, only to take the easier route?  How many times have I gone through life saying, "Life is too short and I will do whatever I want!".  For many of us, this mentality translates into: "I'm not going to stay in this marriage. I'm not going to stay in this job. I'm not going to deal with this issue because its just easier to walk away."  And so we walk away.  We trade in our cross for what we think is a throne.

Do you ever wonder what may have happened had Jesus said "No" to the cross?  What would have happened had He decided the pain & suffering were too great?  He could have responded the same way many of us respond... "Life's too short, I'm not going to waste it on all of you".

For just a moment, pretend you are Jesus. Think about this...take it in. You are up on a cross, naked, hurting and alone.  The people in the crowds are screaming at you, calling you names, mocking you.  You have two decisions:  Strike them down and prove who you really are or bow your head and suffer.  What do you do?  What choice do you make?  For me, the the only way to answer this question is to examine how I am living my life today.

This leads me to a final thought.  One of the many things I love about Jesus is that He gives us this beautiful gift called freedom.  He doesn't force us to love Him or believe in Him.  He doesn't strike people down or fear us into being His disciple.  He doesn't lure us in with money, cars or good jobs. He desires to have a relationship with us.  He desires to help us bear our cross.  Jesus comes to us with fists un-clenched.  He comes to us with open hands and an open heart.  The question is, will we answer His prayers and let Him in?