Answered Prayers

This past Sunday, I was feeling particularly down.  It was cold and rainy...I just wanted to stay in bed all day.  Not only that, but for the first time in over a year, I didn't feel like going to Mass.  I just felt void.

By 5 p.m., I knew I had 30 minutes left to make it to Sunday night Mass.  I thought, "Erin, you know you need to go - You know you'll feel better afterwards".

By 5:25 and five minutes to spare, I found myself nestled into a pew. Sitting towards the back dim corner of the church, this spot perfectly matched my mood.

God knew what He was doing by allowing me to procrastinate all day long.  If I had gone to morning Mass, I wouldn't have been there for Benediction and Adoration.  Because I am unable to receive the Eucharist right now, Adoration is so very special to me. Its my face-to-face time with God.

During Mass and for an hour afterwards, I sat in my cozy spot and prayed.  I prayed for God to allow me to feel His presence in my heart.  I prayed for Him to increase my faith.  I prayed for Him to increase my love.  Although it was cold and raining, my heart couldn't have felt warmer leaving church that night.

By the time I reached the comforts of my bed, I had long forgotten my prayer from an hour earlier.  What I did notice was a book that sat untouched on my nightstand.  One of the women in my weekly prayer group let me borrow it just a month before but I had not gotten around to reading it.

At 8 p.m., I opened the book and could not put it down.  By 12 a.m., I was still reading.  I had to work in the morning and needed to sleep so I forced myself to turn out my light.  At 4 a.m., I woke up and could think of nothing else but the book.  So for the next 3 hours before work, I read...and read...and read.

On my way to work I realized, without a doubt, that God was answering my prayers from the night before.  I asked to feel His presence in my heart...I asked Him to increase my faith...I asked for Him to increase my love.  Through this story, He answered all of my prayers. 

As my relationship with God grows, I become more and more aware of the "small miracles" that are happening in my life.  Things I used to brush off or not put much thought into I am now seeing in a different light.  God does answer our prayers.  Sometimes they are answered in chance encounters, sometimes through a story or book and other times through a thoughtful gesture or simple act of kindness.

The book is called "Left To Tell" by Immaculee Ilibagiza.  Its a remarkable story of a beautiful woman who survives a genocide in 1993.  She was only a teenager when her family and friends were being slaughtered all around her.  In the midst of unimaginable horror, her story of survival and her faith in God are something I have no words to explain.  I just know that she is remarkable and her story touched my soul.

There is a time and place for all things.  Maybe if I had read this book a month earlier, it's impact would not have left the same impression on my heart.  Or maybe God knew that on Sunday, March 27th, I would need a lift...I am not sure.  I just know that after finishing this book, I once again felt the Holy Spirit come alive inside of me.  I felt His presence all around me...it was and still is a lovely embrace.

Artwork by Cathy Jamison - Warm Embrace