16670

16670

On a summer afternoon in 1941 at Auschwitz concentration camp, many heard the piercing cry of Franciszek Gajowniczek, "Oh, my poor wife, my poor children. I shall never again see them."  On this particular day, Gajowniczek had been one of ten condemned to the airless, underground starvation bunker.  In the middle of hell on earth, hell was indeed getting worse. It would be his fate to die a slow and painful death below ground with no food or water.

In 1941, that very day, something unexpected happened.  Prisoner number 16670 stepped forward, "I would like to take his place, for he is a husband and a father".  Normally, this action would have warranted an execution on the spot.  However, the head guard responded, "Who is this Polish Pig?  Take him away". Within seconds, number 16670 and the other nine men were taken to the middle of Auschwitz where they were thrown underground to die.

After being shoved into their cells, 16670 began leading these men in hymns.  In the middle of their worst torment, this man consoled nine dying men with hymns, confessions and prayers.  One by one, as the men began to die, the singing continued until only four remained.  The Nazi's were so annoyed that they elected to kill the remaining by injecting acid into their veins. One of the guards who later gave testimony says that inmate 16670 did not even hear them coming.  He was found kneeling and so transfixed in prayer that he did not even bother to look up.  He simply stuck out his arm and accepted fates final blow.  Number 16670 was Father Maximilian Kolbe.

Upon hearing this story, I was literally brought to tears.  Tears for the pain & suffering that so many endured during World War II.  Tears for the men and women who were stripped of their dignity and could not be consoled. Tears for the courageous and heroic actions of Father Kolbe and the other martyrs our church history has known.  You see, Father Kolbe understood his fate when he offered to change places with that man.  By no means was he under the assumption that saying the rosary or hearing confessions would magically transport him from his place of torment.  This brave man knew, without a doubt, where his final breath would lead...and he found peace in it.

Yes, it is true that the story of the Catholic church has been marked by several era's of a dark and corrupt clergy.  With the recent sex abuse scandals, the church again has found herself in the midst of dark times.  But the darkness is not her only story...her story is about so much more.

Author/speaker Scott Hahn puts it perfectly:  "Do we see further in the day or at night?  Most people would say the day but I have to say at night.  At night we can see billions of miles away...all the stars come out at night". 

We are indeed in dark times; but the story of Father Kolbe, the stories of our Saints, and the preservation of Christianity through Church are our stars.  In my eyes, the Church and her stories are magnetic, mystifying, ritualistic, insightful, passionate, fulfilling...beautiful.  At times, it literally takes my breath away.  In my brokenness...in my suffering and sorrow, I am fully aware of my need for this church.   Through the story of Saint Kolbe, through your story and mine, let us be the bright stars in the night.

O Lord Jesus Christ, who said, "Greater love than this no man has that a man lay down his life for his friends."
Through the intercession of St. Maximilian Kolbe whose life illustrated such love, we beseech you to grant us our petitions:
For those in our families who are enslaved to drugs, St. Kolbe pray for us.
For those in prison, especially those who have been falsely accused, St. Kolbe pray for us.

For those who are with child and considering abortion, St. Kolbe pray for us.

Answered Prayers

This past Sunday, I was feeling particularly down.  It was cold and rainy...I just wanted to stay in bed all day.  Not only that, but for the first time in over a year, I didn't feel like going to Mass.  I just felt void.

By 5 p.m., I knew I had 30 minutes left to make it to Sunday night Mass.  I thought, "Erin, you know you need to go - You know you'll feel better afterwards".

By 5:25 and five minutes to spare, I found myself nestled into a pew. Sitting towards the back dim corner of the church, this spot perfectly matched my mood.

God knew what He was doing by allowing me to procrastinate all day long.  If I had gone to morning Mass, I wouldn't have been there for Benediction and Adoration.  Because I am unable to receive the Eucharist right now, Adoration is so very special to me. Its my face-to-face time with God.

During Mass and for an hour afterwards, I sat in my cozy spot and prayed.  I prayed for God to allow me to feel His presence in my heart.  I prayed for Him to increase my faith.  I prayed for Him to increase my love.  Although it was cold and raining, my heart couldn't have felt warmer leaving church that night.

By the time I reached the comforts of my bed, I had long forgotten my prayer from an hour earlier.  What I did notice was a book that sat untouched on my nightstand.  One of the women in my weekly prayer group let me borrow it just a month before but I had not gotten around to reading it.

At 8 p.m., I opened the book and could not put it down.  By 12 a.m., I was still reading.  I had to work in the morning and needed to sleep so I forced myself to turn out my light.  At 4 a.m., I woke up and could think of nothing else but the book.  So for the next 3 hours before work, I read...and read...and read.

On my way to work I realized, without a doubt, that God was answering my prayers from the night before.  I asked to feel His presence in my heart...I asked Him to increase my faith...I asked for Him to increase my love.  Through this story, He answered all of my prayers. 

As my relationship with God grows, I become more and more aware of the "small miracles" that are happening in my life.  Things I used to brush off or not put much thought into I am now seeing in a different light.  God does answer our prayers.  Sometimes they are answered in chance encounters, sometimes through a story or book and other times through a thoughtful gesture or simple act of kindness.

The book is called "Left To Tell" by Immaculee Ilibagiza.  Its a remarkable story of a beautiful woman who survives a genocide in 1993.  She was only a teenager when her family and friends were being slaughtered all around her.  In the midst of unimaginable horror, her story of survival and her faith in God are something I have no words to explain.  I just know that she is remarkable and her story touched my soul.

There is a time and place for all things.  Maybe if I had read this book a month earlier, it's impact would not have left the same impression on my heart.  Or maybe God knew that on Sunday, March 27th, I would need a lift...I am not sure.  I just know that after finishing this book, I once again felt the Holy Spirit come alive inside of me.  I felt His presence all around me...it was and still is a lovely embrace.

Artwork by Cathy Jamison - Warm Embrace

Reflection of Stations

I am embarrassed to admit but this past Friday evening was the first "Stations of The Cross" that I have participated in since I was in high school (1996). What a beautiful devotion to take part in...I was literally brought to tears during the meditations.  I do not remember being so emotional in my past experiences with the Stations, however, I was only 17.  I am sure that on the rare occasion I participated, my mind wandered to all other areas of my life having little or nothing to do with faith.

God, I truly feel that I am your "Prodigal Daughter".  Throughout all of life's hardships, I was always too stubborn to rely or put faith in you.  After everything I have done and failed to do, you picked me up in my brokenness.  Thank you for opening up your arms...thank you for welcoming me home. If there is a person on earth who is undeserving of your Grace, it is me.

My prayer today: Lord, increase the faith of my family and friends, especially the "Prodigal Children" who have not made it home.

The Power Of Prayer

Not so long ago, I did not understand the "Power of Prayer".  I used to look at people like they were half crazy when I heard them say "I will pray for you".  I used to think..."You are going to pray for me?  And why would God listen to you...if there is a God?"

In fact, up until a year ago I had never prayed for anything or anyone. Many times I had "wished" for things that may have resembled a prayer or participated in the many scripted prayers of our Catholic faith...plenty of Our Father's, Hail Mary's and Glory Be's.   However, it was not until recently that I discovered the mystery and power of prayer.  Not just a few scripted lines or wishes floating through my head. Real prayer.  The "I surrender myself to you God", the "I know that I am not in control and all things rest upon You" and "I'm down on my hands and knees with tears in my eyes" kind of prayer.

Although the "Power of Prayer" seems like an abstract idea, it is actually very, very real.  Does God always answer our prayers in the way we want? No. But He does hear and answer them...in His own way of course! Sometimes it takes weeks, months or years. Other times, our prayers are not answered until long after we die.  In fact, I think there are even times when God answers our prayers immediately but we are so caught up in our lives that we fail to recognize the miracle.  Many times we have already moved onto the next struggle, forgetting the struggles of yesterday.
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When I first began praying last year, I did not even know how to pray.  God was an abstract image and I was disconnected from Him.  I literally had to open up my heart, let go of all my anger and ask Him to heal me.  One night during Lent last year I prayed, "God, I do not know you, I have never talked to you and I do not have a relationship with you.  But I want to know you, I want to talk to you, I want a relationship with you.  Teach me how to pray.  Let me believe in you and please come into my life".

My faith in the Power of Prayer is this: It literally took Divine Intervention to intercede and change my heart.  Without God's help, I was incapable of this sort of transformation. I was not brainwashed or tricked into believing in God and there was no one in my life who was influencing me.  My husband is Agnostic and at the time, none of my friends were Catholic.  Aside from my mother and sister who lived 1,500 miles away, I did not know any practicing Catholics.  Although my sister did encourage me to read a particular Catholic book, I am not easily persuaded.  I am a "Type A" personality and I only do things I want to do.  But when the Holy Spirit intercedes, even "Type A's" become powerless.

Within a few days of my first prayer, I literally felt this heavenly embodiment wrap itself around me.  It grabbed a hold of my heart and has not let go.  I am not going to say that my life has become easier or that I no longer have struggles.  In fact, it is quite the contrary.  Since my conversion, I sometimes feel as if I have been given more crosses to bare.  My crosses are hidden behind isolation, self doubt and doubting God's love for me.  When I find myself in the midst of doubt and I feel the powerful forces of Evil casting a shadow on my heart, I have to immediately place myself in God's presence. Maintaining a daily prayer life takes acknowledging that we are not in control and we need all the Divine Intercession we can get...but the key to all of this is that we have to ask for it!

"Ask and you shall receive.  Seek and you shall find.  Knock and the door will be opened to you." - Luke 11:9

Go ahead...Open up and ask God to be present in your life.  He will come to you.

Seek God.  For the past two-thousand years, the Holy Spirit has been hard at work within the Catholic Church to provide us with as much information and enlightenment that anyone could need.  Since the Pentecost, the stories of the Church and her Saints have inspired the works of many modern theologians, writers and speakers.  There are thousands of Catholic websites, books, blogs, audio tapes and podcasts available.  Seek them out and be prepared for the inspiration they will bring you.

Knock on God's Heavenly Door.  Remember, when you knock, you are saying "I am ready to make a change in my life.  I am ready to become the best version of myself.  I am ready to love...especially those who are not worthy of my love.  I am ready to do all of this because God loves me."

God deeply desires you...do you desire Him? During this Lenten season, I pray that the Holy Spirit works in your heart and draws you into His mystery.

Faith Lifts!

Saturday, March 5th, marked the first "Women's Morning of Spirituality" for the Catholic Diocese of Memphis.  And what a "Faith Lift" it was!  The bitter cold temperatures and rain did not keep us away, as there were over 800 women who attended this invigorating event at Our Lady Of Perpetual Help!

I have to admit, I was truly inspired by the turnout.  My non-Catholic friends are always boastfully talking of their church events, worship services, bible studies and other faith lifts.  Needless to say, I was proud of the Catholic Women of Memphis and their efforts to support this event and I felt blessed to be a part of it.

During the "Women's Morning of Spirituality" something became apparent to me.  Although Catholics may not have a fellowship for every shade of grey, we have something far better...it's called the Seven Sacraments...in particular, the sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Communion.  These sacraments give us more nourishment, healing and sustainment than anything I have ever witnessed. Not only are the sacraments actual gifts from God - they are tangible signs of His love, mercy and grace.

In Reconciliation, God himself is present in the confessional so that we can be healed, comforted and forgiven.  And if being forgiven is not enough, He keeps on giving!  Through the Sacrament of Holy Communion,  we are invited to gather around His table where we are given the actual Body and Blood of Christ.  All of these miracles take place through the Priest in persona Christi. 

Speakers Brenda Kindelan and Christina King are dynamic women of faith who shared their stories of struggle, hope and inspiration.  Through their stories, we were given two powerful testaments of faith.  We saw first hand how ALL Catholic women should be embracing the Church, our families and those around us.  But our morning did not end with just another "feel good story" and an empty box of tissues.  Together, over 800 "Dynamic Women of Faith" participated in Reconciliation, a Mass and of course the Eucharist.

Throughout history, committee's, organizations, clubs and foundations have come and gone.  Doors have opened and others have closed.  Churches have been founded and others forgotten.  A few facts that we ALL need to marvel in is this: For over two-thousand years, we have been blessed with the ever sustaining, Holy Catholic Church.  For over two-thousand years, we have been given access to the splendor of her sacraments to heal us in our brokenness.  For over two-thousand years, we have thrived AND survived where all others have failed.  And for over two-thousand years, our Church exists because the Holy Spirit remains present.  As Bishop J. Terry Steib reminded us in his homily on Saturday, "Christ is truly in our presence".  Bishop Steib, I could not agree more!

God Moments...Life Moments...Memories I'll Keep

Day 3: February 8, 2011
St. Michaels Catholic Church

Mexico



There are tender moments that each of us have in our lives.  These moments are so cherished that we sometimes wish to recapture them, place them in a box, and tuck them away for safekeeping.  In my lifetime, I have been blessed with many such moments.  As I get older, I try to stop myself in the midst of these moments to take them in. Life is so fast and moments like this come and go quickly...

Throughout our journey, we had moments of panic and confusion, fun and adventure...but more importantly, we had moments of laughter and joy.  In the midst of our joy was a special moment that I will keep with me always.

As we strolled the streets of Cozumel, we came across a beautiful Catholic Church.  It was truly amazing to see so many locals making their way in and out of the church on a Tuesday afternoon.  This was rare to me and not something I see much of at home.  Business owners, laborers and the common public...stopping in the middle of their busy day to pay homage to our Lord.

As we made our way through the church, looking at all the artifacts and taking in our surroundings, the three of us made our way to a pew to pray a Rosary.  Over the past few months, I've prayed many Rosaries; But it was always done by myself and in the privacy of my home.  There was something very special about being in Mexico with my mother and sister...the three of us praying a Rosary together in this sacred place.  This was a God moment...life moment...memory I'll keep.

My mother turned 60 the following day. With each passing year I become more and more aware that she will not always be here with us. I know that at times I take her for granted but I love her dearly.  When I find myself in the midst of my own struggles and I begin questioning God or my purpose, I think of my mom. Beginning with her childhood, she has lived a life full of struggles.  God has given her many crosses to bear and continues to do so. Regardless of the circumstance she finds herself in, she has always been obedient to God and her faith.  If there is only one life lesson I wish to retain, I pray for the obedience and tireless faith of my mother.

Happy Birthday, Mom...May God Keep You Always!!

Hail holy Queen, Mother of Mercy.
Our life, our sweetness and our hope.
To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve,
To thee do we send up our sighs,
mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.
Turn, then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us;
And after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb Jesus;  O Clement, O Loving, O Sweet Virgin Mary.
Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.