Noa's Baptism

My nephew, sweet baby Noa, will be baptized on Friday, February 4th.  Since my return to the church early last year, I have prayed for Noa, his mom (my sister) and his dad.  I have prayed that my sister, a fallen away Catholic, would return to the Church and have Noa baptized.  But more than that, I prayed she would hear the gentle call of the Holy Spirit in her heart.  I knew that if she would answer that call, the Grace from own her baptism would pour fourth into the life of her son.

My sister has answered that call and continues to answer it each day.  In a few days, the Grace she received at her baptism will flow through to Noa.  In an unbroken chain that began with Jesus in the Jordan, my nephew will be baptized and the Grace he is given in baptism will be the door to his spiritual life.  God has chosen baby Noa to enter this door and I am so blessed to be his Godmother.

"You have not chosen me; I have chosen you.  Go and bear fruit that will last." (Jn 15:16)

Self-Help



Have you ever walked into a bookstore and looked around the "Self-Help" section?  There are literally thousands of books available for issues dealing with love, heartbreak, friendship, anger, depression, anxiety, stress, addictions, weight loss, financial repair...just about every human condition known.  What I find worry some is that so many of us are willing to put stock into what some unknown author or therapist has to say but we refuse to seek help from the people around us. Could it be that we have been so hurt from past relationships...leaving us with little faith that anyone in our life is trustworthy?  I suppose that on a subconscious level, many of us are aware of the personal torments as well as failed and barley surviving relationships that encompass our family and friends. Although I do not agree, I can sympathize with why so many shy away from seeking help from those we know.

As a society, we spend billions of dollars on books and therapy from people who will never know us.  I am not saying this is 100% wrong but I do not believe this should be our first resort.  What exactly are we seeking to cure? What answers do we hope to find in all those pages?  Usually, the problems listed above are surface problems and do not begin to address the underlying issues.  Just as a doctor cannot treat his patient until he is aware of the problem, neither can we.  The simple fact is that each and every one of us is sick and in need of help. As a favorite speaker of mine stated, "Regardless of what you or I pretend to tell ourselves, we are NOT okay.  In fact, we are so NOT okay that God became a man and died on the cross for us." - Fr. John Riccardo. 

I believe most of us fail to realize how sick we are because we are so numb to it.  The majority of us have dealt with pain for most of our lives and do not even notice it anymore.  So the root pain (a lack of a personal relationship with God) turns into things we do notice such as our failed marriages, failed friendships, failed relationships, failed businesses, failed finances and failure to be honest with ourselves and those around us.  We put band-aids on all those failures or walk away and start anew, as if they never meant anything to begin with.  Some of us get by for another 5, 10 or 15 years until all of those issues begin making their way back into our lives, leaving us with the same feelings as before.

Fr. Riccardo goes on to say that, "The condition we need to be aware of is the condition of the human heart".  We are a torn, battered and bruised culture, living in a world with all sorts of walls.  It is because of these walls that we end up using each other instead of loving one another.  Unfortunately, we enter relationships asking "What's in it for me?" rather than "What can I offer?"

So how do we treat the sickness in our hearts?  According to Riccardo, we do this by beginning to ask ourselves the basic questions such as, "Who am I" and "Why am I here".  We must contemplate the mysteries of life and strive towards self realization.  We must believe that with God, everything that means something is possible.

Who Are We:  The only way we can truly know ourselves is by knowing God on a deep and personal level.  How do we get to know God...We get to know God by spending time in contemplative prayer each and every day. We cannot rely strictly on ourselves, our books or the latest trend in recovery.  We need to reflect on sacred scripture and we need to study the lives of the people who were closest to Him. We need to put our trust in God's love and mercy for us.  When we get that, when we realize how much God loves us, we will further discover ourselves through the giving of ourselves.  When we are able to give ourselves in total love with no walls, we deepen our relationship with Him.  It is through all of this that we begin the first steps in self realization.

Why Are We Here:  We are here to share in God's love.  We are here to BE different, to LOVE different.  We are here in hopes that our heart will be transformed into God's own heart.  We are here to be sanctified.  Regardless of our past or present state, we are ALL called to be saints.

Thankfully, there is a cure to the pain and suffering our hearts inflict upon us.  The cure is not one of self-help, but rather placing your trust in God and learning to love and trusts others.  The cure begins to take place over time, when we accept that change is impossible on our own.  Only through God's grace, are we capable of living and loving differently.  Only through God's grace are we capable of change.  Unfortunately, this is an unpopular theory and one that we rarely find in the pages of self-help books.

It is crucial to be aware of the struggles.  In reading the stories of the people who were closest to God, I have come to realize that sanctification is a life long journey and one that can be lost in the beat of a heart.  My prayer for myself and each person I know is that we never give up on our journey.  My prayer is that we ask for and receive God's grace each and every day.

Playing In The Mud

Wants.  Needs.  Must haves.  Are we living in a society that desires too much?  According to C.S. Lewis, we are actually living in a society that desires too little. Wow...too little?  I had never looked at it from that angle before. However, when I took in what he was saying, I could not help feeling as if I had just been pinched. His words were sharp and edged with a truth that I cannot even begin to divulge.  Our culture desires too little...hhmm.

In one of his stories, Lewis describes some children playing outside in the mud.  They are having a grand old time playing in mud puddles and not much else.  One day, their parents discuss plans to spend the holiday at the beach...but the children are not quite sure how to respond.

Now it seems a little silly to imagine any child pondering this offer.  Playing in the mud as opposed to a week at the beach seems absurd, as most of us have been to the beach and know its beauty.  There are sand dollars to collect, beautiful waves to ride, castles to build. Oh, the joys of the beach!  I cannot help but smile just thinking about it!  The sounds and the smells can be intoxicating and the feel of the sand between your toes is just heavenly.  Sunrises and sunsets, evening bonfires with waves crashing down around you.  I could go on and on...

So why were these children uncertain? The reason they were not jumping up and down with pure and utter excitement was this:  They failed to recognize that the beach would offer far more than anything experienced in those puddles.  They may have heard about the beach in passing but they had never experienced it for themselves.  They knew what to expect with their mud puddles...why mud pies of course!  But the beach?  This was new territory.  What would they do all day?

Like these children, are most of us playing in the mud?  Are we passing up a lifetime at the beach because we are scared or uncertain?  Does our society desire too little?  Could we be missing out on something far greater by failing to let Him in?

I used to be someone who desired too little from life.  Just like the children in the story, I did not know what I was missing and desired all the wrong things.  I could not comprehend the peace and serenity that would come from placing myself at God's feet.  Having experienced the beach, I now understand how absurd it was to spend all those years making mud pies.  On occasion, I do fall back into those muddy waters, but thankfully, I am quick to remember the feel of the glorious sand between my toes, and through God's grace, I quickly find my way back to the shore.

Top 10 Of 2010

10.  The Treadmill I just bought.  It's been a long time coming...much too long and about 20 pounds overdue.  I have tried the gym thing and it doesn't work for me.  Mainly because I HATE working out in front of other people.  Plus, I do not like getting ready to go to the gym.  You cannot put a price tag on being able to crawl out of bed, throw on your tennis shoes (without having to brush your teeth or hair) and go.  I am blessed with now being able to run (or walk) in the privacy of my own home. Recently I realized I can run and say the rosary at the same time.  I really, really like this.  Now if only the pounds would start melting....

9.  Thanksgiving.  This year was especially wonderful because my mom, my sister and her family were able to fly into Memphis to spend it with us.  This was the first time since 1997 that we were able to spend it together...I hope we never allow 13 years to pass before doing this again.

8.  Coordinating a 60th Birthday Cruise for my mom.  The cruise won't actually happen until February 2011 but I'm so proud that we lined it up.  After 60 years and four daughters later, my mom deserves this trip...I couldn't be happier to take her :)  We love you mom!!

7.  My husband.  Being married to me is a job in itself and he does it with ease.  Thank you for loving me.

6.  Being invited to join a women's prayer group at Holy Spirit Catholic Church.  The women of this prayer group have been a blessing to my life.  They are beautiful women of faith and a true gift from God.

5.  A book that my sister Shannon sent me.  It's not just your average, everyday book...Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly was my first step back to the Catholic Church.  It was exactly what I needed to read at the exact right time.  It's amazing how God works!!

4.  Making my Memphis Women's Cursillo Weekend (Group 92)!!  What a reflective weekend...and the Holy Spirit was truly present!!

3.  The Catholic Church.  I am truly in awe of her strength, resilience, beauty and age.  I truly believe this is the church Christ founded...how else could it have lasted 2,000 years if it weren't His church!

2.  Faith.  This is the most precious gift I will ever receive in my life time.  It is a gift that I vow to nurture & cherish for all the years of my life.

1.  The Trinity.  2010 marks the first year I ever put much thought into God The Father, God The Son and God The Holy Spirit.  Without the Trinity, I would not have the gift of faith.  Without the Trinity, our Church would not have the Eucharist.  Without the Trinity, our Church would not exist.  For the first time in my life, when I say "In the name of the Father, In the name of the Son, In the name of the Holy Spirit" I would die for it.  Having something to die for - and not just something but God - is TRULY a life worth living.  Thank you Jesus...I love you!!

A Road Well Traveled

Over the past few months, several people have asked what led to the drastic change in my attitude towards being a Catholic Christian. Explaining how God works in our hearts is very difficult, as it is one of the many mysteries of faith.  As much as I wish there were a road map to follow, there is not.  Each one of our experiences are different.  Where I made a left turn, you may be called to turn right.  Where I went over the hill and through the woods, you may find that no hill exists.  What I can tell you is this: I now have an awareness that a heavenly entity exists.  It exists in a way that I am unable to wrap my human mind around.  This awareness did not happen with one book or one sermon and it did not happen over night.  It happened at the pace and in the way God willed it. 

I believe that each of us are destined to have an intimate relationship with God, if only we shall seek Him. Our knock will indeed be answered by Him, but it will be answered in a manner as unique as our fingerprints.  As He continues to answer my knocks, I am left feeling his pure and utter love for me.  In much the same way a parent loves each of their children equally but differently, I suspect that holds true in God's love for us.

Being aware of His presence is not necessarily about having the right answers...I believe its about asking the right questions.  It's about waking from a deep slumber that so many of us find ourselves in.  Many times I do not get the answer to my questions, however, I am not discouraged. God answers us in His own time and in His own way.  There is a time and place for all things.

An author I admire is often heard making the following statement: "If you want to be a good golfer, study Tiger Woods. If you are a college basketball player and dream of the NBA, study Michael Jordan.  If you strive to be a world renowned surgeon, study great surgeons.  Whoever you strive to be in your life, study the great men & women who traveled the road before you".  In my lifetime, this has been the best advice I have ever received.  The saints are true examples of some of the greatest people who have traveled the road before me.  My goal in life is to seek God and I pray that I have the strength and courage to do His will.  When I read their stories, I read the stories of men and women who were truly close to God and I am inspired.  I read their stories of struggle, hope, love and peace.  It is a bit comforting to know that the people closest to God were just as human as you and I.  At times, they had struggles discerning God's grace but they were not discouraged and they did not give up.

Below are a few examples of the dynamic material that helped to rouse me from my sleep.  Each story I heard was both encouraging and brilliant. For me, it marked the beginning of asking the questions that led to discerning God's grace.  I pray these stories will do the same for you! (I've also uploaded a few of the talks to the right of this blog if you'd like to listen to them now).

These are easy to download to your ipod or burn to a CD and they are guaranteed to make your next travel experience an amazing journey!

Rediscovering Catholicism - Matthew Kelly (Books)
A Call To Joy - Matthew Kelly (MP3/Audio CD)
Why A Protestant Pastor Became Catholic - Dr. Scott Hahn (MP3/Audio CD)
Confessions - Father Larry Richards (MP3/Audio CD)
The Mass Explained - Father Larry Richards (MP3/Audio CD)
The Healing Power Of Confession - Dr. Scott Hahn (MP3/Audio CD)
Rebuilding The Christian Civilization - Dr. Scott Hahn (MP3/Audio CD)

http://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/ is a great source for more talks!

Slipping

"Today I am still very much of the midst of a transformation. At times it seems as if I'm progressing, while at other times, I cannot help but feel that I am slipping back down a mountain I have struggled so hard to climb" -Matthew Kelly on Rediscovering Catholicism.

About 76 pages into the book and this was the first line that I found myself highlighting.  Something about this paragraph stood out.  Its like my heart recognized the prophetic truth it would have in my own life.  You have to understand, at page 76, I was just beginning to open that crack in my heart.  Aside from being forced to attend Mass for most of my childhood, I never allowed God to be relevant in my life.  In fact, I had never made one solid decision because of Him.

Looking back I realize this paragraph wasn't placed so clearly in front of my eyes for some random, unknown reason.  This paragraph wasn't an accident.  I believe it had been carefully placed and was truly a divine gift from heaven.  God knew I needed to read this, and more importantly, to always be aware of it. This paragraph was to be my crutch as I began my journey...and it continues to be my crutch today.

Being Catholic is not always easy.  In today's world, I often feel as if the odds are stacked against me.  My husband is not Catholic.  I am a Yankee living in the south.  Need I say more?  Many times I feel as if I'm making this journey on my own.  At Mass, I look around and see other families sharing in the experience...and I am alone.  But then I look up and realize that I am not alone.  Although my views about faith, life & love have undergone a dramatic change, I am not alone.

On the days I feel as though I'm slipping down that mountain...I stop, look down and realize just how far I've climbed.  Thankfully, most of my slips are minor.  And within each slip I hear God saying, "Stay alert...stay strong...keep going...keep climbing...I am with you."

Jesus The Genie

Do you feel that many of us are following Jesus because we think He will somehow make our lives easier? Do we follow Him because we are hoping that all of our problems will disappear?  Is He sitting in some heavenly, magic lamp with promises of a life that is free of suffering...if only you will pray! I have a hard time believing that Jesus has the role of a genie, there to grant our every wish.  In fact, I believe its quite the contrary.

In the New Testament, story after story is a reflection of just how hard life was for those who followed Him.  Even when He was in the flesh, living amongst His apostles, life was not easy for those around Him.  Jesus actually warns us that following Him will entail suffering.  "If anyone comes after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me." (Matthew 16:23).  Many times, it seems that Jesus actually attracts suffering...like a metal rod in a storm.  If you don't believe me, read the gospels or the lives of our saints who were martyred in His name.

To me, this can be a little discouraging.  Call me crazy but I don't particularly like the idea of suffering.  However, in the lives of our most beloved saints, I read story after story of this exact theme.  Men and women who were martyred, many of whom died brutal and gruesome deaths.  And several of us may ask, how did God allow this to happen?  How did He just sit quietly in the background while they were being tortured in His name?  These men and women were dying for Him!  They were dying for His church!  How does God just allow good people to die like that?  Where was He in all of this?

You see, the answer has been sitting in front of me the entire time.  I was just blind to it.  Jesus WAS indeed with those men & women, just as He is with you and I this very moment.  The answer lies in the hearts & minds of the saints, not Jesus.  They figured out what so many of us fail to figure out.  They knew what so many of us spend our entire lives searching for.  They understood that both good & evil are very much real.  However, they also understood that God gives us the gift of freedom to choose the role we play in it.  They were not blind to Him or the choices.  More importantly, the saints were keenly aware of His presence, giving them two virtues that I often lack:  Faith & Peace.

Faith.  Faith that they were put on this earth for a reason.  Faith that their lives meant something, that every life means something.  Faith that we weren't created from slime and muck by pure chance.  Faith that something far greater exists, beyond our imaginations. Faith in Jesus, faith in the bible and faith in the mission of our beautiful church.

Peace.  Peace in knowing that their faith would bring about trials and suffering. Peace in bearing the cross they were given.  Peace in realizing that living a life of Christ doesn't automatically create a world where wishes come true.  Peace in knowing Jesus, truly knowing him with every ounce of their being.  Peace that in the middle of their storm, in the middle of their torment, Jesus was truly with them and ready to welcome them into eternity.  Peace.  Pure and utter peace.  The "I'm sitting on my porch with a glass of sweet tea" kind of peace.  How does one of have peace knowing they are to suffer and die?  Grace, I suppose.

As we are making our journey closer to God, let us be aware that we may very well find ourselves in the midst of suffering.  Maybe we will lose our job.  Maybe a loved one will be diagnosed with cancer.  Maybe the life of our child, husband or wife will be lost in the war.  The "maybes" are unlimited and the realities are harsh.  However, let us not forget that Evil exists...and Evil is strongly attracted to winning back those closest to Christ.  Evil wants us to question our faith & peace.  In the midst of our storms, I pray that we are not blind to the Good.  I pray that He increases our faith & peace so that we may be truly aware of His presence...even in the dark hours of our greatest need.